Marble Retreat Alum – May 23, 2000
O Lord, hear my prayer,
Do not turn away from me.
You have lifted me up out of the depths of despair and death;
I have known the exultation of your love.
Even so, I have turned from you.
I have cast myself back into the pit.
I have sinned against you, turned from your righteousness,
Because I have not trusted in your love.
In the depths of my soul, I have not believed in you.
Even when you have been gracious unto me, I have doubted.
I have trusted in myself.
I have given the appearance of righteousness to the eyes of humans
While I have sinned against you in the dark and secret places of my heart.
I have sought to deny you my life which you ransomed.
I have shut out your light to hide my sin,
And now all around me is darkness.
Fear rules my life.
O God, I am so afraid, especially of you.
Turn your wrath away from me.
As hard as I try, there is no place to hide from you,
There is no part of my life secret from you.
My unworthiness is ever before me, because it is ever before you.
I have trusted in my own sufficiency and have been found wanting.
O Lord, help me.
Help me to know your love.
Help me to trust you.
You have been faithful to your people throughout the ages.
Indeed, your righteousness is your faithfulness and love.
Restore me to your people.
Cleanse me of my unrighteousness,
For without you there is nothing.